Steel Your Heart with Red Cowboy Boots
by fEmAleNoMad
Summary: After wanting to hide from the world now that The Wedding Bride has become one of the highest grossing films in history, Ted just wants to forget it. Adbot on the other hand, won't let him. And neither will the fangirls.


**(I don't own anything. Google, Blade Runner, Transformers, The Matrix, and especially not How I Met Your Mother. This is just a loving tribute to fandom, and a plot bunny that's been in my head all day.)**

"Stupid ads," muttered Ted.

Even though no one else had been able to tell the difference between Jed Mosley and Ted Mosby- hopefully due to their completely different personalities and Ted's fabulously good looks, adbot somehow figured it out. Now even if her tried sending an email using his own name, his screen would be flooded with reminders of The Wedding Bride.

"Just ignore it, and you'll be fine. That's what you did all the other times." He was trying to forget his semi-breakdown in front of Royce and her friends. Well, after she finding out that she likes to sleep in the same bed as her brother, Ted was just trying to forget about Royce in general.

_Buy The Wedding Bride on DVD today!_

_Get the look from The Wedding Bride in 5 Easy Steps!_

_Wedding Bride Merchandise!_

_Wedding Bride Exclusive Collectables!_

_Wedding Bride Fanfiction!_

Wait…what? People actually spent time writing about this? Hesitantly, Ted clicked the link. He wondered if this secretly made him a masocist.

Looking at the list of recently updated fics, the first few he saw were exactly what he was expecting. A lot of Stella/Tony fluff fic that made him the bad guy.

At the top of the page, he noticed a drop down list with a list of characters. Much to his surprise, Jed was on there.

"Admit it, you want to see what they wrote. That's why you're even here in the first place." Sighing, he clicked it.

The results were…unexpected to say the least.

Apparently, Jed had some sort of cult following among the fangirls. Ted guessed that they must have felt sorry for him, or something, but he saw that there were already close to thirty or so entries that made him out to be the good guy. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

He looked at one of the more popular ones, Steel Thy Heart with Cowboy Boots by jedlovr4eva. It had over a hundred reviews.

_He was trapped. He had been since the idolized image of his father the successful gallant architect was shattered to reveal his true, horrible nature after his mother died. His mother, so loving, so pure. Just like Stella. That's why he treated her so badly, to stop himself from loving her so he wouldn't get hurt again. But who was he fooling? He loved Stella, and the Jed who could love her back was dead. He was worthless He had been crushed by his family and by the cruel, pitiless city. The Jed Mosley who laughed, loved and cared had to die in order to succeed and show his father he wasn't a failure. So he became the man he wanted to be. Strong, forceful, just like him. If it meant having to take bribes and ruin lives to get to the top, he'd do it. Nothing meant anything unless you were feared, his father showed him that. Jed looked down at his boots. His father's boots. He hadn't taken them off since the monster died. "How am I doing now, dad?" Had he too become the monster?_

Ted had to admit, it was pretty good.

Absolutely wrong, but good. At least it made more sense than the actual character. But why did it have to be so depressing?

He looked at some of the other stories. Some of them had Stella leave Tony and go back to Jed, who would either take her back, or kick her out of the house (Ted laughed at those). Others involved original characters; smart, beautiful young (perhaps too young) girls who somehow instantaneously captured Jed's heart and transformed him into a more likable character.

"Why is it that my unlikable fictional counterpart ends up in better relationships than I do?"

"Ted, what are you doing?"

Lily, Marshall, Barney and Robin had just entered the apartment and were taking off their jackets. "Oh, hey guys. I'm just checking my email, I'll be done in a sec."

"Since when did your emails involve pink haired moon princesses named Tiffani?" asked Robin as she looked over his shoulder.

"_The Wedding Bride_ Fanfiction? Ted, we know you're upset over the movie being one of the highest grossing films in history, but isn't kind of creepy to sit around reading more stories about people making fun of you?" Marshall asked.

"Wow Marshall, that was kind of harsh." Lily responded.

"Thanks, baby. After the robbery, I signed up for some mean lessons, I'm glad to see they're working."

"Oh, baby, that's so sweet of you."

There was a pause. "Aren't you going to say something about how I shouldn't change and you love me just the way I am?"

"No, that's so cheesy. Of course I love you honey, I just think these lessons will be a good balance for you."

"I can't wait to see what hijinks ensue as a result next week."

"Barney, what have we talked about?" warned Robin.

He sighed. "I am not an omnipresent narrator who can see all. But wouldn't it be so awesome if I could? I mean, I could time travel, and shoot lighting, and pick up all the hot chicks in the world, and…"

"I don't think it works that way." replied Robin, who tried to refrain from rolling her eyes.

"Hey guys, you should read this one. I have no idea what an AU is, but this sounds like _Blade Runner_ meets _Transformers _meets _The Matrix_. And even though I have no idea how this relates to _The Wedding Bride_, I'm the main character!"

Ted passed around the computer as they read some of the weirdest ones aloud.

"So," wondered Lily, "Who do you think writes this stuff?"

"Mostly girls." replied Ted.

"Really? You're saying there's an untapped source of chicks out there pining over you? Perhaps I can take a few off your hands, I don't mind taking one for the team."

"Forget it Barney, most of them are underage."

"Oh."

They laughed.

_**And kids, that day I realised that many people see things differently, and many people will have different opinions about you. But, as long as you stay true to yourself…**_

"Ted, have you noticed you're wearing leather pants in like, most of these?" noticed Robin.

"Yeah, and what's mpreg?"

_**Then you can handle anything.**_


End file.
